The fuel door on my car is busted. We had a little mishap at the gas station the other day and the fuel door latch was thankfully the only minor casualty. It won’t take much to replace it however the interruption to the crush of work and holiday schedule is annoying. It sounds odd perhaps but I think it was my car’s way of telling me to slow down the usual pace before moving forward. Compatible to the inevitable year-end reflection and resolution-making, the following is my glimpse in the rear view mirror and course corrections for the road ahead:
o Encouragement. This has been the all-purpose road sign of the year! Vague ideas, frustrations, cocktail conversation, and constructive feedback all incited action in 2009. Starting the blog, my recent published article (“Be the CEO of You”), and a significant de-cluttering of the clothes closet were a few new things that made it into the line-up. Support and encouragement from others indicate that people are listening, observing, and willing to engage. We all need propping up when the going gets rough, but encouraging someone when they have momentum or enthusiasm is just as important. It can come from anywhere and you have to be open to receive it. Many consider encouragement the personal green light giving you permission to go-go-go. I view mine as a yield sign, allowing me to assess the surroundings appropriately before moving ahead.
o Patience and Persistence. This combination is my fuel. I need more and will use more to go farther. One without the other is like sand in the gas tank! I have learned to be more persistent about achieving my goals, and to be patient so that results will come with the right level of persistence. Onward.
o “Social” is my word of the year. Yeah yeah, “social networking” is the latest buzz phrase. “Tweet” is not a verb in my vernacular, although I make good use of online networking tools. It provides an avenue to stay connected with clients, customers, colleagues, friends old and new, family members (who are among my very best friends), and assorted professional contacts developed over the years, all who have and are becoming more than just a roadside attraction. Online activities prompted more in-person interaction which is both professionally and personally rewarding. My chosen career as a legal search executive requires constant interpersonal interaction which is one reason I like it so much! Lawyers, business executives, recruiting and HR professionals, it’s a fascinating mix! Best scenery for this driver is one that changes all the time. Social is always part of my course.
o Community. Regardless of your political views, election and inauguration days were momentous occasions in our nation’s history. Voting speaks. So does other political activism like writing to elected officials or engaging in political forums and political action committees. The future is too important to abdicate by inaction. Contributing to community helps people help themselves, which has never been more important in a time when others are struggling. You are likely reading this because you have access to the internet, which puts you among a privileged group of people. Good, that means you have something to spare. Time, money, goods, or services – write a check, cook dinner at a shelter for families in transition, help out once a month at a legal aid clinic…. it isn’t rocket science. Contributing improves life for others. We all live in each other’s ripple. Speak up! Get with it! Get on the bus Gus and take the damn wheel!
o Wildlife encounters. From bears in the backyard to seals on the city beach, animals are sure to cross our path. Animal interaction reminds us we all share the planet. Be mindful that we share a precious resource and we will all have somewhere to go for many years ahead.
o Humor. My motor won’t engage without this essential. Drama is meant for the theater. As my cousin Kai was fond of saying, “get over it.” Sometimes you have to stop and see the levity. Be willing to snicker at your own foibles. A little good-natured giggle on occasion keeps your blood pressure down and the fun factor high.
The 2009 road was riddled with the potholes of a lousy economy, and careers and retirement plans for many detoured by recession. The signposts of fabulous family, friends, and colleagues all kept my roadblocks manageable. For that fact alone, I could not be more grateful. My packing list for the next journey includes those lessons learned, a bright-eyed wonder of what lies ahead, and the confidence to maneuver around the roadblocks. As soon as that fuel door is fixed, it’s a quick trip through the car wash and back on the road to 2010. I’m just hoping for fewer mishaps!
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Being graceful in ungraceful situations
Recognition for a task well done can come in many forms ranging from a simple thank you to a raise in base salary or other form of monetary compensation such as a gift certificate. Assuming, of course, that the employer or boss has the intelligence and manners to make the acknowledgement (sure to be a topic of future blogs, so stay tuned), there is a certain maturity to accepting the acknowledgement. You don't want to act so crass as to give the impression that of course you deserved this for your work, or worse yet curl up your nose if the gift is not suited to your personal taste or, heaven forbid, tacky and cheap. There is a certain maturity to accepting these acknowledgments with class. And sometimes, no matter how graceful you might be, something embarrassing happens to compromise the whole situation. The result, and how it reflects on the recipient and the giver, is not dependant on what transpires but in how you recover.
Face it. In the work world there is so much human interaction that awkward moments are bound to ensue. We are all human after all, not robots, so the occasional mishap is inevitable. Nerves get the better of people in the best of situations. Raise your hand if you have ever stumbled over your words in an interview, blanked on a word or point when giving a presentation, spilled coffee on yourself on a way to meeting, or flat out tripped over your own two feet walking down the hall for no reason at all. See what I mean? There is a bit more at stake when these things happen at reward time.
So when can this happen and what to do? A few illustrations:
The 'thank you' lunch - There is so much opportunity for things to go wrong in this setting between employer and employee that it can be it's own longer topic. My personal experience with this once involved a multiple comedy of errors. I was working on an arbitration with one of the senior partners in the firm, and at the conclusion of the case he wanted to take me to a prestigious private social club for a celebratory thank you lunch. I dressed particularly nice that day in a fitted long jacket, silk scarf, black skirt with a tasteful kick-pleat, and the perfect pointy-toe black high heels. It was a rainy day, and as I arrived at the walkway entering the club my sassy heel caught in the brick walkway and I went face down on the pavement. My purse contents went flying, I scraped my hands bracing the fall, and my skirt split up the back along the seam of the kick-pleat to a less than professional degree. The partner was inside waiting for me! Recovery was needed, and fast! A kind stranger helped me to my feet, picked up my bag, inquired if I was hurt (no, just embarrassed), and escorted me inside. (Tip #1 - be kind and helpful if you see something like this happen.) Upon entering the club I had no choice but to tell my host what had just happened, at least to explain the scrape. He politely offered me his overcoat to drape over my shoulders to hide the torn skirt, gave me a minute to freshen up in the ladies room, and asked the hostess to seat us near the fireplace convenient to warming up and minimal walking across the room. (Tips #2 and 3 - put the other person at ease by acknowledging the situation and offering a way to minimize the visibility to others.) I am sure the story he told over lunch about inadvertently hitting a judge with a wayward tennis ball was fictitious and intended to humor me, which it did. (Tip #4). Thankfully I knew better than to order the spinach salad. (Tip #5).
The gift - These should be chosen carefully. Unless you know the recipient very well, it is best to stick to something that is broadly acceptable without risking offense. Useful, appropriate, versatile, no expiration date, like a American Express cash certificate fits pretty nicely into this category. Companies often use this for project oriented or spot rewards and are a nice gesture. As a giver however one should resist the temptation to make this a huge production or put people on the spot. A friend of mine received one of these at her workplace for exceptional performance on a sensitive project. The division VP was thrilled with the outcome, and her boss went out of his way with a department e-mail praising her work and the big result she obtained for the company. Very nice. When it came time to present her with the reward check, he did it in the hallway with all sorts of people passing by, loudly proclaimed the amount, asked her where she was going to spend it, and gloated about the amount of the check. She was horrified, and appropriately so. It put her on the spot, publicly no less. Worse yet, the amount was quite modest and while she did not want to offend her boss, she also was challenged trying not to hide her surprise when the check was handed to her in front of her peers. My friend was at once honored, flustered, embarrassed, pleased, and caught off guard. What started as a thoughtful and well-earned acknowledgement turned into an awkward moment. It really is not the gift that counts, but avoiding the pitfalls will make the gift count beyond it's face monetary value.
To get everyone past the odd interlude and get back on track, someone involved has to be graceful about the whole thing so that all can breath a sigh of relief and truly enjoy the moment. The best way to disarm others is to put them at ease. Using the tools of humor, manners, and gentleness can go a long way to diffuse many ungraceful moments that occur in the workplace.
Face it. In the work world there is so much human interaction that awkward moments are bound to ensue. We are all human after all, not robots, so the occasional mishap is inevitable. Nerves get the better of people in the best of situations. Raise your hand if you have ever stumbled over your words in an interview, blanked on a word or point when giving a presentation, spilled coffee on yourself on a way to meeting, or flat out tripped over your own two feet walking down the hall for no reason at all. See what I mean? There is a bit more at stake when these things happen at reward time.
So when can this happen and what to do? A few illustrations:
The 'thank you' lunch - There is so much opportunity for things to go wrong in this setting between employer and employee that it can be it's own longer topic. My personal experience with this once involved a multiple comedy of errors. I was working on an arbitration with one of the senior partners in the firm, and at the conclusion of the case he wanted to take me to a prestigious private social club for a celebratory thank you lunch. I dressed particularly nice that day in a fitted long jacket, silk scarf, black skirt with a tasteful kick-pleat, and the perfect pointy-toe black high heels. It was a rainy day, and as I arrived at the walkway entering the club my sassy heel caught in the brick walkway and I went face down on the pavement. My purse contents went flying, I scraped my hands bracing the fall, and my skirt split up the back along the seam of the kick-pleat to a less than professional degree. The partner was inside waiting for me! Recovery was needed, and fast! A kind stranger helped me to my feet, picked up my bag, inquired if I was hurt (no, just embarrassed), and escorted me inside. (Tip #1 - be kind and helpful if you see something like this happen.) Upon entering the club I had no choice but to tell my host what had just happened, at least to explain the scrape. He politely offered me his overcoat to drape over my shoulders to hide the torn skirt, gave me a minute to freshen up in the ladies room, and asked the hostess to seat us near the fireplace convenient to warming up and minimal walking across the room. (Tips #2 and 3 - put the other person at ease by acknowledging the situation and offering a way to minimize the visibility to others.) I am sure the story he told over lunch about inadvertently hitting a judge with a wayward tennis ball was fictitious and intended to humor me, which it did. (Tip #4). Thankfully I knew better than to order the spinach salad. (Tip #5).
The gift - These should be chosen carefully. Unless you know the recipient very well, it is best to stick to something that is broadly acceptable without risking offense. Useful, appropriate, versatile, no expiration date, like a American Express cash certificate fits pretty nicely into this category. Companies often use this for project oriented or spot rewards and are a nice gesture. As a giver however one should resist the temptation to make this a huge production or put people on the spot. A friend of mine received one of these at her workplace for exceptional performance on a sensitive project. The division VP was thrilled with the outcome, and her boss went out of his way with a department e-mail praising her work and the big result she obtained for the company. Very nice. When it came time to present her with the reward check, he did it in the hallway with all sorts of people passing by, loudly proclaimed the amount, asked her where she was going to spend it, and gloated about the amount of the check. She was horrified, and appropriately so. It put her on the spot, publicly no less. Worse yet, the amount was quite modest and while she did not want to offend her boss, she also was challenged trying not to hide her surprise when the check was handed to her in front of her peers. My friend was at once honored, flustered, embarrassed, pleased, and caught off guard. What started as a thoughtful and well-earned acknowledgement turned into an awkward moment. It really is not the gift that counts, but avoiding the pitfalls will make the gift count beyond it's face monetary value.
To get everyone past the odd interlude and get back on track, someone involved has to be graceful about the whole thing so that all can breath a sigh of relief and truly enjoy the moment. The best way to disarm others is to put them at ease. Using the tools of humor, manners, and gentleness can go a long way to diffuse many ungraceful moments that occur in the workplace.
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